Hello, Friends
“Getting the Leaves Off”
This year the usual cold, snowy winter in Missouri has been very mild. Even in February the trees began to bud, and some flowers started to bloom.
On the south side of our house there is a row of daffodils. Since last fall we had done little yard work and a very deep pile of leaves had blown down on top of the daffodil bulbs nestling under the ground waiting for spring.
Though they were deep under the leaf pile, the daffodil bulbs sensed the warm weather and began to grow. After I saw a few of them blooming, I decided I had better rake the leaves.
As I worked I found the daffodils in various states of health: some had managed to grow through the pile of leaves and were cheerfully blooming; others had managed to push out of the ground but could not manage to get above the pile of leaves. I found them weak and their stems were yellow rather than green. A few of them were trying to bloom even under the leaves, but the stems were not strong enough to hold them up, even after the leaves were removed.
As I worked with the daffodils, I thought how similar this is to rearing children with healthy self esteem. Just like the flower bulbs, every child has certain burdens placed on them: scoldings and expectations from parents and teachers, bullying and put-downs from other students. Some thrive, like my daffodils who were gaily blooming above the leaves, but some children wither under the pressures put on them.
It remains to be seen if my weak and yellowed stems will grow strong even with the therapy of sunshine and being able to see the real world around them. It is also difficult for children whose self esteem has already been severely damaged to recover even when their burdens are lifted and parents and teachers try to help them.
I think learning the AP “Freedom within Limits” skills will certainly help, but often by the time parents study AP the family dynamics are already set. As the parents’ skills of communication improve, many young people will respond and begin to bloom, but others may be too discouraged already to respond well.
I am resolved next year to remove the leaves from my bulbs much sooner. Also, I’ll add some bulb fertilizer. Whether we are raising daffodils or children, the sooner we meet their needs, the better.
June Seat, Founder & Friend, APJapan
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