4-4-2015.Fathers

Hello Friends:  Fathers Also Vital

I have been thinking a lot about fathers’ place in parenting since I saw an article in “The Plough” called “Why Dads Matter and Moms Don’t Toss Babies.” The author told of being in the Kansas City airport and seeing a father tossing his baby into the air, and the baby was loving it.

Then more recently the author, Glenn T. Stanton, was in Asia and saw fathers and grandfathers in parks playing with small children the same way as he walked to his meetings.

At our church there is a young family of three: the wife is from North Dakota, and the husband is from Zimbabwe. After the service this week I happened to look across the room, and the father was tossing their 7-month old daughter into the air. She was laughing and loving it.  

Mr. Stanton says babies can learn many lessons from their dad’s way of handling them. Though they are frightened the first time they are tossed, after they land safely in daddy’s arms they feel safe again. This builds confidence and comfort.

He says moms are different. They don’t feel compelled to toss babies, but rather to hold them close. That of course is essential but it doesn’t teach them the confidence that comes from taking risks and then recovering safely.

Even though we have evolved beyond narrow gender stereotypes, there is still truth in much of what Mr. Stanton is saying. A father can play rougher with the son, but at the same time can be teaching the boy self-control and how to treat others.

An involved father is also important in his daughter’s development. If she has been cared for by a good man, she is less likely to get in trouble with the wrong kind of guys later.

In the case of a single parent home, it is a good idea to get friends or relatives of the opposite gender to be with the child often enough that  the child can learn to be both forceful and gentle.

As parenting educators we realize that just as both male and female are required to create a new child, both are also essential in bringing up that child to be cooperative, responsible and courageous.

     – June Seat ( APJapan Founder and Friend)